First of all, the Hail Mary should never be a strategy – it’s only a last resort – your last shot when all seems to be lost. Under those conditions, you really have no choice. It’s either do nothing, or go for the Hail Mary and hope for the best (hope for the best is … Read more
Your parents don’t owe you anything Your lover doesn’t owe you anything Your boss doesn’t owe you anything Your friends don’t owe you anything Your profession doesn’t owe you anything Your teacher doesn’t owe you anything And above all, LIFE DOESN’T OWE YOU ANYTHING Whatever you get in this life, you’re going to have to fucking work … Read more
Here’s a secret “life hack” that is so simple yet so powerful most people are unaware of it. I didn’t really discover it until I was in my 40’s, but I have literally used it several times a day since – to great effect. So here’s the trick – you tell yourself ahead of time … Read more
“In very general terms, an agent is a being with the capacity to act, and ‘agency’ denotes the exercise or manifestation of this capacity.” I love this term, because it empowers an individual to act, while forcing the same individual to reason why they are acting. In other words, instead of passively waiting for someone … Read more
Part 1: When you are a nurse and someone who just had a stroke says to you “Thank you for taking care of me.” I can’t think of anything that makes me feel better than that. Part 2: Intoxicated trauma patient with severe facial wound secondary to knife injury looks up at me on the … Read more
Ok, let’s frame this and put it in perspective. You wanted to do something, and were unable to do it. So you failed to accomplish your mission. FAILED. The word that hurts, the thing we all will do anything to avoid. If you’re like me, “I failed…” is like a psychic punch to your soul. … Read more
If you are going to do something, do it like you fucking mean it. No pulling your punches, no halfway measures. Full out going for it. This is what people want to see – this is what people respect. This is what makes something compelling. Invest completely. Once you make a decision to do something, do … Read more
One of the nice things about working in an ER is the relationships you develop with your coworkers. The nature of the work requires a high level of trust & interdependency that, over time, develops into a unique and singular bond. You begin to depend on each other, sensing when something is wrong & making … Read more
I never heard this term until recently – A Hindu friend of mine used it during a conversation we were having about my disengagement from all politics. She thought it was a “stage of life” thing, I don’t deny there isn’t an element of that. My reasoning goes like this: I’m 60 years old and in … Read more
OK, bear with me a minute here – I just had a great session with my psychiatrist (of 21 years), and I actually made this statement: “I think cancer made me a better person…” I know this sounds weird, it sounded kind of crazy when I said it. And it took me by surprise, it … Read more
Some people melt down quickly under stress while others seem to have almost infinite reserves. There is no good or bad here – everyone is different. The one whose ability to cope disappears at the first sign of trouble might possess some highly specialized and invaluable skill. But for those who are able to think … Read more
Find a need and fill it.
If “just showing up” is half the battle, what happens when you show up AND are fully engaged? Things begin to happen, and opportunities start to appear, that’s what. Why does this happen? I think it’s because most people just show up and do what is expected of them. That in itself is not always … Read more
Being a charge nurse in an inner-city ER can, on a busy day with high acuity patients, begin to feel a bit like what I imagine leading a field disaster unit might. You are literally running the whole show; controlling who gets seen and when, assigning patients to nurses and doctors, determining the course of … Read more
Tough means you can handle the worst that life has to offer and not lose your humanity. Hard means you can handle the worst that life has to offer, but the process of learning how to do so took your humanity with it.
The whole purpose of my job is to help people. No matter how shitty things are – in my life or in the world – I get to go to work knowing that I am part of the solution and not part of the problem. I get paid to do the one thing that is … Read more
Believe it or not, quite a few of the residual effects of surviving cancer are positive. But one negative (maybe I just haven’t evolved enough yet to see it as a positive), is that one becomes acutely aware of just how fragile and temporary our health (defined as the absence of disease) is… You are … Read more
Long game: Working for four years to get a college degree. Payoff: Having a greater understanding of the world and how it works. Acquiring knowledge and having the ability to apply it makes one more able to contribute in a meaningful way. Sacrifice: Consistently applying oneself over a period of years represents a lot of … Read more
Know this: every moment of every day, you are defining yourself by the actions you take. And everyone who watches you is judging who you are based on what they see. From a psychosocial perspective, here’s the interesting thing about people. Nobody is really that interested in you, at least not superficially – they don’t really … Read more