Fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed

When You’re Caught With Your Hand in the Cookie Jar (Part 1)

Admittedly, what I am about to say sounds ridiculous, yet it has been used effectively in Washington for decades, possibly longer.

Here’s how it works: The one getting caught stealing would say, I’m not stealing cookies, you are. Of course this seems like it would be a poor strategy for defense, and yet…

It has apparently worked quite well for the ones stealing. If nothing else, it just confuses matters – What? would be the natural first response of any reasonable person. That doesn’t make any sense…

But perhaps confusion is the desired outcome. Especially if it’s followed by immediately stealing more cookies, all the while repeating over and over (to the honest person), Stop stealing these cookies. The only reasonable response is disgust and fatigue.

I’m not going to argue with this lying asshole, you think. Everyone can see it’s not true. Yet the people stealing the cookies keep getting more cookies.

So you throw your hands up in the air and say Fuck it.

And they win.