Fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed

Lucky Gunshot

I’m sure it really sucks to get shot in the ass, but here’s the thing. When the bullet exits through your anterior thigh at the midline and you’re not bleeding out, you just won the jackpot. ‘Cuz the second biggest artery in your body is right there, and if the bullet hit it, the best trauma team in the world isn’t going to stop the massive bleeding. Not that you would have lived long enough to make it to the ER anyway. So there’s that.

Oh, and BTW, here’s a tip – don’t take a cab to the ER, that’s what 911 is for. You’ll have a better chance of surviving.

And you might want to toss the drugs in your pocket. We don’t give a shit but unfortunately for you NYPD pops by whenever someone gets shot, and they do care.

Other than that, this was a very lucky day for you. You’ll probably never know it, but hey, it’s just another day for us, and we savor life’s little miracles.

No one really knows what we do except other ER workers. Fortunately, we really like our jobs. We’re a secret society that has an active front row seat to every fucking horrible thing that can go wrong in life.

I’m never bored.

I love my job.