Fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed

ER Nurse Report

“Can you cover me for dinner?”

“Sure, whatta you got?”

“2/3’s an SI on 1:1, going to CPEP. No plan, nice guy. Wants to hire someone to kill him. Said that way it wouldn’t be a sin. Bed 9 was a r/o stroke, neuro thinks he’s post-ictal. Got 2 of Ativan, loaded him with Keppra, waiting for MRI. Checklist done and sent. 5’s the sick one. BS 860, trop over a thousand, Hgb 7.2. Waiting for type and screen results. I’ll transfuse him when i get back.”

“Anything else?”

“Yeah, waiting to hear from surgery on bed 11. Intox vs table saw. If they call I’ve got his ear on ice in front of my computer.”