I don’t usually perseverate about my awareness of time left, but for some reason today is one of those days. In twenty years, I’ll be 80. Twenty years doesn’t seem like a very long time…
I’ve already had a taste of how quickly life can change, how everything can seem to be going along great, and suddenly you are slammed face to face with an inexorable battle with illness, debility, and death. Such is life.
So what does this awareness do for us? Well, for one thing, it makes us painfully aware of how precious each minute is. When I’m at work in the ER, I usually have an awareness that my purpose is to help others – which seems like an appropriate use of my precious time. When I’m at home sometimes I’m not so sure. I think about the meaning of the things I do, about whether I am spending my time wisely. I wonder what anything means when you are going to die. What is the purpose?
No easy answers here, just the usual existential musings…