Fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed


Here’s the thing – I love learning. It’s absolutely intoxicating to learn something useful, to suddenly realize you are grasping a concept that was always there, you just didn’t know it.

So I must love school, right? Well, yes and no

There are two problems with school, and they are related. Problem number one is you can’t just learn what interests you, or what you think might be useful. You have to learn lots of things that might not be useful to you at all, they just happen to be part of the curriculum. This takes time – a precious commodity you can’t get back.

Problem number two is that this learning is time sensitive. There will be a test given on a predetermined date, so you must learn and (hopefully understand) the required information by that time. All non-essential life activities will be on hold while you struggle to absorb what you need to know (which may or may not be useful to you).

Problems one and two are less of an issue if you are a child and don’t have to earn a living and manage a life. But they become very big issues in adulthood. I’m currently finishing up an undergraduate degree that is long overdue. Really stressed out and wondering (once again) how I’m going to fit everything in.

I survived cancer with a healthy awareness that this ride has a limited shelf life. I have a life to live and things I’d like to do. After I finish this motherfucking degree.