The way my mind works is still a mystery to me. I’d like to think I’m pretty self-aware, god knows I think about shit enough, but when I begin to look at how I approach the world around me things can get very murky. For example, I’m very results driven – if I have something I want to accomplish, then that sits at the top of the hierarchy and I’m fully in. As long as I don’t violate my personal code of ethics, I’m not really that concerned about how I do it. This has a lot of implications, not all of which are good. The good news is, as long as I have a clear idea of what I’m trying to accomplish (and it’s a realistic goal), if it’s possible I will usually get it done.
I will attempt to solve the problem from every possible angle, using every resource I can find, in an extremely dogged fashion. When I’m doing this, I’m not really paying close attention to my methodology, because to me what I am doing is not that important, it’s just a means to an end. I may try something twenty different ways, and nineteen of them fail. In my mind, the only one that matters is the one that works, the rest of them I forget almost immediately.
One of the problems with this kind of thinking is that it’s difficult for me to backtrack and remember everything I did. I’m just plowing ahead, single-mindedly trying to accomplish my goal from every perspective I can think of. Details and failed strategies don’t concern me. As you might imagine, this can lead to trouble. The minute someone asks me what I did 2 weeks ago regarding some project I’m working on, I’m at a loss. I don’t remember because it wasn’t important to me. The good news is that I’m formidable if for no other reason than I just don’t stop. I’m smart enough to imagine lots of different ways to approach something, and I’m tenacious enough to not give up.
Note to self: It would behoove you to pay closer attention to what you are doing.
Self: Duly noted.