Fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed

Plan 9 From Outer Space

Okay, I don’t really give a shit whether you get it or not, this film is fucking genius. And this isn’t a guilty pleasure for me either goddamnit, no, I’m owning this one baby. Ed Wood? Count me in – the rest of you condescending motherfuckers can leave the room. And be quiet about it, show some respect!

Seriously, I love this fucking thing and I’m not entirely sure I can explain why. It’s like a surrealistic masterpiece released in 1959 for an imaginary audience, with an incomprehensible script, on no budget, starring Bela Lugosi! Bela actually died during the production and was replaced by Ed Woods dentist. This is how he went out – on his shield, still delivering. Respect. Not only did this film also feature Vampira, it co-starred Tor Johnson! (OK, co-starred might be a bit strong). And if you don’t know who they are, god help you. Sheesh…

I love this movie so much, I once sat down with a DAT machine and laboriously recorded every classic line in the film. I wrote a fucking tune named “Plan 9 From Outer Space” for Christ sake, just because it excited and inspired me. I knew no one else would get it, and I completely didn’t give a fuck. Labored over it, too. Never made it into an album, but hey, they can’t all be winners.

Anyway – stay away from this film. I don’t want you watching it, ‘cuz it’s for me and every other freak out there that does get it. Stay away, and if you think it’s trash, I feel sorry for you.

Life has untold secret treasures, and you just missed one.

Your life is unfortunately a little bit diminished by your own shortsighted inability to fully comprehend genius.

Open your eyes to the full expression of the human condition. Highbrow, lowbrow, it’s all the same if your mind is open.