Fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed


As an ER nurse who worked through the NYC pandemic in March and April, my perspective on COVID is skewed. The feeling of utter helplessness in the face of so much suffering and death is not easily put into words. There were times where it felt like the end of the world. No staff, no supplies, no real treatment – just suffering and so, so much death.

In order to keep going to work I would tell myself “This is what you do, this is what you trained for – this is how you can serve others in need.” I kept repeating this over and over in my mind, partly to center myself and partly to keep me from focusing on my own mortality, or god forbid my wife’s.

So to see this tragedy continue to play out in North America, and now in Washington, is profoundly disturbing. We have failed completely, and the tragic consequences will only continue to mount.

I thought we were better than this, but I was wrong.

Now, as from the beginning, the virus is in control, and it will do what it was designed for. To find hosts and replicate.

It will apparently decide when it’s done.

Not us.