I almost let it slip by, but I guess I should acknowledge it – yesterday was my 1000th post – hurrah, hurray! Oh Jesus- who the fuck am I kidding.
Honestly – This fucking blog has gotten hard – sometimes I’m pretty sure I’ve got absolutely nothing new to say, and I’m fairly certain it sounds like it. But since I have a readership of 3 (with one of them being me), I’m under no pressure to please anyone but myself. BTW, I’m really grateful the other two people actually read it – they’re both highly intelligent and honestly should be bored with anything I might have to say at this point. Thank you nonetheless!
But for God’s sake why do I keep doing it? Maybe precisely because it is getting hard. I always knew that eventually it would.
Perhaps, in fact, this is the point I’ve been waiting for. What do you do when things start to get difficult? Do you pack it in and fold like a cheap suit? Or do you see what happens when it’s no longer easy? You know – see what you’re made of…
Truth be told, I already know what I’m made of – but I’m still not sure what I’m capable of. They are, of course, two different things. When you hit the wall, does greatness lie beyond? Or total and abject failure? Or maybe worst of all – just more of the same?
Regardless, I’m not quitting yet. If nothing else, my tenacity is formidable, I can be extremely self-motivated and disciplined, and I’m mean on top of that. I do try to be nice, though – I mean I really, consciously try everyday, and most of the time I succeed.
So forward ho! Let’s see what this thing can teach me about myself…