Fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed


Question: How much time do you like to spend alone as opposed to how much time you enjoy being with others?

Everyone, of course, is a little different – no, let’s rephrase that: people can be very different when it comes to this topic. And the ratio can change somewhat throughout different phases of one’s life, based on a variety of factors. But there is a baseline that probably stays somewhat consistent from birth to death.

When I was growing up, there was a lot of neglect coupled with a dangerous and unstable environment, so I learned how to amuse myself – or at least that’s the story I imagined. The truth is that I may simply be wired in a certain way – regardless, I never had any difficulty in keeping myself amused. In fact, unless I found the people around me interesting, I actually preferred to be alone. I could make up more interesting shit in my head…

But I’m human, therefore I am a social creature. As such I do enjoy being with other people – at least in time-limited chunks – but I’ve learned that my enjoyment of being with others is highest when I am either working with them to achieve a specific goal, or trying to contribute something to the group, or working as a catalyst to get something done.

Also – if someone has knowledge I want to learn, I will become quite dogged in my relentless pursuit of trying to get them to teach me – as long as they will tolerate it, I will spend as much time with them as possible.

But ultimately I tilt toward being a more solitary person, albeit one who enjoys being with other people.

But make no mistake – I do need my space. My head can be an interesting place to live (unless it starts to go south – in which case things can get very dark and confusing indeed). But I also need to be part of some direct human activity.

That’s where the balance part comes in.