What a great line – I’m reading “The Fact of a Body” by Alexandria Marzano-Lesnevich, an astonishingly good book, and I just came across this question. She asks it in the context of denial – denial of painful events that make up our past, denial that causes their memory to fester and bend our personalities into awkward and dysfunctional shapes.
When I was young I believed that we could fundamentally change, then as I got older I questioned whether that was really possible. But somewhere in my early forties I realized I had been right all along – not only was it possible, it was likely, if only because life would impose its own indelible changes whether we wanted them or not.
Time can heal or it can form tough, impenetrable scar tissue. The choice is ours – and it is entirely within our realm to decide how we will or will not confront the ghosts of the past.
How we decide will determine who we are.