Monthly Archives: January 2018

“A gradual decline into disorder.”

I guess this is as good a definition as any of aging. It’s not pretty to watch, much less to see it happen to you – but in the present real world, the only alternative is death. There is, at this time, no way to stop this process. But at the very least, we can try to maximize what time we have left. And here’s where things get interesting…

Before we start, it’s important to understand a very important concept: you don’t want to spend so much time thinking about and researching this stuff that you get distracted from the actual process of living. So there is a fine line to walk between being engaged with your health and trying to stay abreast of new trends and just fucking enjoying life. So let’s don’t ever forget that. There are times where I wonder if I am crossing that line – but at least I am aware of it.

IMHO, the single most important thing you can do to maximize your state of health is to exercise. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, it could be as simple as walking some everyday. But it has to be consistent, and you do need to try and “push yourself” – in other words, at some point it shouldn’t be easy. After exercise, diet and sleep are the next priorities. I know, this sounds so simple, because IT IS. There’s a reason why you’ve heard this stuff over and over… Diet shouldn’t be complicated, just make it balanced and try to cut down on your sugar intake as much as possible. Of course you can still eat some sugar – just be aware it’s a special treat and it’s not good for you. Eat plenty of protein and don’t skimp on the fat. Fat is extremely satiating (meaning you get full quickly, and more important, you stay full). One of the reasons adequate protein intake is so important, especially as we age, is the phenomenon of sarcopenia – that is, the “loss of muscle tissue as a natural part of the aging process.” We need to consume more protein as we age to help combat this process.

Read investigative journalist Nina Teicholz’s book “The Big Fat Surprise” and prepare to be confused and shocked. Once you get your fat and protein intake up and your sugar intake down, you will start to lose weight. Exercise will accelerate this process. But start with baby steps – make this a slow and enjoyable journey of self-discovery, something you will do for the rest of your life.

There’s more (much more) you can do, but these are the big ones. Just always remember that you must enjoy life. This moment isn’t happening again, so you need to be grateful for what you have. In the meantime, entropy is grinding away in the background.

Use this knowledge to motivate you to live life to the fullest.

When you are the charge nurse in a very busy inner city ER, and a patient comes up to you to tell you this in the middle of what appears to be an overwhelming shitstorm, there is only one proper response.

You look them in the eye, smile, and say “Thank you.”

And you think to yourself “They’re probably right…”

That’s how long ago she died. It seems so long ago now, but if I think back, it’s as clear as yesterday. I guess these are the things that accumulate in your life and end up defining who you are.

She was fucking crazy, no doubt about that. But she was still my sister, and somewhere deep down, she still shared a childhood with me – it wasn’t a good one, but it was ours. It ended up killing her, but for us it was all we had.

I wish I could say we were close, but that would be a lie. We were just two lost souls, trying to survive in an environment of chaos and neglect, of madness with a hard heart and no love for a helpless child. It was like that line at the end of Night of the Hunter – “It’s a cruel world for little things.”

Why did I survive and she didn’t? Well, for one thing, I managed to find a stable human who loved me in spite of all my flaws, and who supported me and hung in there until I got better. I’m now a 61 year old man who long ago made peace with his past. Sometimes, if you’re lucky to live long enough, it all comes together. I was in my 50’s when the penny dropped for me.

She ended up checking out on her own terms, overwhelmed by the kind of crazy that wasn’t going to be fixed. She was broken and nothing, at least in her mind, was going to make it better.

I loved her in my own fucked up way, but I was dangerously unstable and desperately trying to hold my own shit together, so I just did the best I could. I would have handled it so differently now, but I just didn’t have the tools or the maturity at the time. I was still trying to invent a life and be a functional human with no clue how to do it.

So Rest In Peace my sister. You’re gone but not forgotten. You taught me there are things in life that can’t be fixed. It was a brutally hard but important lesson to learn.

We all know that algorithms are constantly attempting to “guide” us in our choices. It’s just an inescapable part of being alive in 2018, and it will undoubtedly become woven deeper and deeper into the fabric of our lives as time goes on. And this isn’t necessarily a completely bad thing. But it cannot be the only way we discover new things.

We still have to be engaged in the process of discovery – we must use the algorithm as our partner. We must learn to exploit it, before allowing it to exploit us first. In a world of infinite choices, we can use it as a blunt instrument if we choose, or we can (at least attempt) to choose not to use it at all. Because here’s the thing – if you are looking for new music in a library of 30 million songs (Spotify & Apple for example), you need some fucking help here – you’ll be long dead before you can randomly (or even purposefully) work your way through it. But here’s where old school meets new school: you can combine the algorithms recommendations with word of mouth. Remember that? That’s where other people recommend stuff, whether it’s people you know directly or just other passionate fans talking about it in different mediums. What’s cool about today is – there are a lot of outlets for people to express themselves without a corporate sponsor. Blogs and podcasts, for example.

Algorithms aren’t going away, so the smart thing to do is try to use them for our own purposes. We can continue to search for interesting stuff the way we always have, just by jumping down rabbit holes and following the trail from one thing to another. And while we are doing this, the algorithms are dutifully watching what we do, trying to figure out what we want to see next. Nothing wrong with using that as an effective search tool in it’s own right…

I’m one of those people who is super impressionable when it comes to art. I mean, if it speaks to me, it’s as if I completely immerse myself in it to the point where it becomes my reality, it begins to re-define the parameters of what seem’s possible. It used to be such a disappointment when other people didn’t feel the same way, but I let that go a long time ago.

What happens is this: I see or hear something that resonates with me, and it’s like a rush of information suddenly hitting me on many more levels than I can consciously process – so I just submit to the experience and let it wash over and through me, like diving into the ocean. I don’t know what’s happening, I’m just entranced and overwhelmed by this new and novel experience.

Another thing I have noticed with these experiences is that there are layers to it, and it’s only after multiple viewings that these layers peel away and expose what’s going on in the deeper levels. I’ve often thought that great art always has a “high line” and a “low line.” What I mean is that there will be a superficial level that can be recognized and enjoyed by the most casual (i.e. dumbest)  viewer, and then there are these deeper things going on for those who care to look closer.

I want to make a distinction here – my definition of art is simply something that was created purely as a form of self expression. Whether or not commerce has anything to do with it is irrelevant. So a multi-million dollar movie and miniature tapestries woven on socks in prison are, at least to me, playing on the same level (don’t forget the movie was based on a story written by somebody who was expressing something). For their ability to transport me to another reality, Yo Yo Ma and a homeless guy playing a self made instrument are both on an even plane. True story: I am a musician who spent decades playing and studying music, and I’ll never forget standing in a freezing, empty Boston subway station one night decades ago. There was what appeared to be a homeless guy who had made an instrument out of a broom handle, string and a metal bucket. The bucket was upside down with the string threaded through a hole in the bottom and attached to the far end end of the broom handle. So it was kind of a primitive acoustic bass – the tighter he made the string by moving the broom handle, the higher the pitch when he plucked it. Because it was an empty subway station, the acoustics were incredible – just this long, natural reverb. Now mind you, he wasn’t doing this for me – I just happened upon him. I remember standing there, waiting for the train, just stunned.

This guy was a virtuoso – playing these beautiful melodies and and walking bass lines. Pitch and time was fucking perfect, tone to die for. At some point the train came and I picked my jaw up off the floor and got on.

But not before the sound and everything I experienced at the scene were burned into my brain. Forever. He truly changed my concept of what was possible. My reality about the world I lived in changed just a little bit after that.

Art is transformative. It just makes life better.

Take some fucking pride in what you do.

Whatever you’re doing, do it to the best of your ability.

Do it because that’s who you are, not for someone else’s approval.

When you do something well, feel good about yourself.

You earned it.

Hmmm… What exactly does this mean? I would postulate that this as the ultimate goal of living – to find out who you truly are, and realize that potential to its fullest.

As an added bonus – the more fully realized and authentic you are, the more charismatic and attractive you become to others, which brings all sorts of other advantages as well.

Life is more fun when people like you.

Listen: What if this is your last hurrah – and you don’t even know it?