Fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed

Not Sure if this is Sustainable

I’m seeing Multiple COVID-19 positive patients everyday in the ER, and most symptomatic patients aren’t even tested. We send them home for Christ sake, and I’m quite sure there’s no follow up by the DOH. Why would there be? If they never tested for COVID, of course they don’t show up in any pesky infectious disease statistics. Starting to get the picture where things are headed?

I can be triaging someone for afib, when they’ll drop “I’ve had this annoying cough for a week,” and because they’re being admitted to telemetry for their heart condition, the hospital will approve a COVID test. In point of fact, no one gets tested unless they’re being admitted.

To say that stress levels among staff already feels oppressive is to compare them to the passengers on the Titanic who said “Look at that lovely little floating piece of ice,” just before you know what happened. We all know how that ended.

Every shift I feel like I’m dodging bullets for 12 and a half hours and yet I know things haven’t even started yet. Did I mention the staff already out on quarantine because they were exposed without PPE? There’s a certain fatalism in the air among ER docs and nurses, a kind of grim realization that there’s a very good likelihood none of us are going to make it through this without getting infected.

And yet – this is what we do. Everyday. No matter how sleep-deprived or exhausted. This is what we signed up for – because (whether we want to admit it or not), most of us find great satisfaction in caring for people in need. Without that, no amount of money would make this particular job worthwhile.

But I guess my point here is there’s no shame in admitting you’re struggling. It’s part of what makes us human.

Struggling here boss.