Fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed

Don’t Buy Trouble Part 2

Don’t worry friendo, trouble will have no difficulty finding you when it needs to. In the meantime, don’t go looking for it.

If you find a lump, it doesn’t mean you have cancer. A headache isn’t always a cerebral hemorrhage – in fact, it’s almost certainly not. Tingling in your hand doesn’t mean you’re having a stroke. Forgetting your keys doesn’t mean you have Alzheimer’s disease. Sex with a stranger doesn’t make you HIV+, and a tremor isn’t Parkinson’s. See the pattern here? Take a deep breath and calm the fuck down – even if it is any of these things, you’re not qualified to diagnose it. Reading WebMd doesn’t make you a doctor.

Here’s the thing: there’s a process to being diagnosed with disease, and it make take multiple doctors and a whole variety of sophisticated tests to do it. Being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness is of course always possible, it happens to people everyday. It happened to me. But know this: if you or a loved one are diagnosed with a serious disease, you will need to keep your wits about you and remain rational so you can think clearly. Once trouble has found you, then, and only then, will you have no choice but to deal with it.

But until that time, don’t go shopping for it. Trouble requires a clear head and is not something to be taken lightly. Make no mistake, in this life sooner or later you are going to have to deal with it. Always be prepared, but for Christ’s sake don’t go around looking for it. What’s the matter with you?